Mother’s Day

I am a Mother. I may not have held my babies in my arms, but I know I am a Mommy. Mother’s Day was hard for me this year, instead of a day of celebration or even just a day to remember to call my own mom, I was grieving our losses. I have been talking to a friend a lot lately about being honest and open (and some would say vulnerable.)  And, so with our second loss still so fresh, I want to commit to being vulnerable: talking about our losses makes me feel better. I know that miscarriage is a taboo subject, and that for many women it is a heartbreaking reminder of the loved ones they have lost, but for me, talking about it openly and honestly is a way for me to heal. I need to be able to speak about it freely with my family, friends and co-workers and not worry that I am making people uncomfortable.  And, so far, I have been blessed with wonderful people around me that encourage me to talk as much as I need, but also encourage me to be quiet and listen because God has a plan for us. Sometimes it is hard for me to think that maybe I won’t ever get the chance to have my own children here, but I know that I have a merciful, loving God, and He will bless us with a family when the time is right. My Dad said something after hearing about our second loss that sticks with me: he said that he knew we would have a family someday, and that regardless of how they come to be apart of us, they will still be loved and cherished all the same. This is something that I very much needed to hear, and revisit often, because maybe God’s plan for our family isn’t the traditional. And I am working hard to trust in God that he knows what is best for us. (Please be praying that I will have the patience, too!)

This upcoming weekend we are very excited (and nervous) to start our journey into Foster Care. We have two respite care placements to look forward to, both with sets of twins, and we couldn’t be more excited. Respite care is not long term placement, more like an opportunity for us to give another foster family a “break” from their full time duties for few days. I think this will be a great way to break ourselves in gently, and I am ecstatic to start this new adventure in our lives. Check back next week for an update on how it went!

And finally, an update on Farm living. We have now gotten all of our garden planted, and I can practically taste the yummy fruits and veggies now: potatoes, sweet peas, green beans, peppers, radishes, garlic, tomatoes, onions, lettuce, cucumbers, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, apples and corn! Whew.  And, as always, our chickens are happy campers. They are free-ranging in the yard all of the daylight hours, and are blissfully taking dirt baths and chasing the dog.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by MJ Fade Away on May 12, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    I love this blog dude. Also, I’m so excited for your ten thousand pounds of garlic!


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